August 24, 2009 – Family Matters, Part 3

This week we moved onto the next phase of family – our kids. Strong families start on the foundation of strong marriages. And in parenting we all have philosophies on how best to raise our kids.

Sometimes, those philosophies are by default – what popular culture influences us to think is right or wrong about parenting. Sometimes it is shaped by what we liked or didn’t like from our upbringing. But we all have our philosophies and it is important that in parenting both the mom and the dad are on the same page in regards to what that single philosophy is in raising their children. Hopefully, our philosophy is based on what God’s vision is for our families.

God wants to partner with us in raising our kids. If they are gifts from Him we have to be good stewards of what He has given to us – and He wants to help. This idea of partnering with God is found all throughout scripture but specifically in partnering with parenting Psalms 127 shows us that.

What is God’s part in helping parents? First, He gives us His Word as the standard for what is right and wrong and we as parents are to instruct our kids in the way they should go accordingly. Second, He gives us His Holy Spirit to give us strength, discernment, direction and guidance. If our kids our gifts from God, and they are, and He has knitted them together in their mother’s womb, and He did, than He knows something about our kids and wants to show us through His Holy Spirit. It is our job as parents to pull out of our kids what God has put in them. Finally, God promises His protection over our kids – what a wonderful promise it is too.

What is our part as parents? Well, what was already mentioned in raising our kids to fear and love the Lord – to draw out of them all the potential that God has placed in them to make a difference for His Kingdom and to discipline them in that. It is our part as parents to train.

Training isn’t fun – its hard. Training isn’t done to someone it is done for someone. Just ask our armed forces if basic training is really done to them or for them. We are to train up our children in the way they should go. Psalms 127:4 shows us that in a beautiful picture of an arrow in a warrior’s hand.

Our kids are like arrows in our hands and arrows need to be aimed to be effective. Lets be good stewards of the gifts God has given us and send out our children aimed in the direction they should go and they will not depart from it.

Happy parenting everybody – with God’s help,

Jonathan

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August 17, 2009 – Family Matters, Part 2

The Bible is clear that our family’s are gifts from God. We have already talked in previous weeks of this series that marriage (the foundation of the family) is a union instituted by God – therefore it is ordained by God, sacred and holy. With that understanding, this week we focused on a major pitfall that if not addressed can devastate our marriages, the relationship with our kids and can be applied to every relationship that we have in our lives. That is the pitfall of familiarity.

The definition that I give for familiarity is treating what is holy or sacred as common. Something that is special yet over time we begin to take for granted and treat as plain or ordinary.

The Bible says in Proverbs 27:7 A satisfied soul loathes the honeycomb, but to a hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet. What this verse is saying is if you become satisfied with the intimacy in relationships you will begin to hate even the sweetness of it. But when you stay hungry even something bitter tastes sweet. That is how at 6 AM hair everywhere, drool on the pillow, bad breath and all you can still look at your spouse and love them!

The take away here is – you cant stop the pursuit. You can’t be satisfied with the level of intimacy in your relationships. You can’t get familiar with what is a holy gift and treat it as common.

People who have grown familiar in their relationships have stopped desiring to grow in intimacy. They have gotten lazy in the pursuit. The thing is, in order to keep the hunger you must continue the pursuit. Once the pursuit dies, the hunger dies and you grow familiar in your relationships and they die.

This principle of familiarity is also so important with your relationship with God (see Revelation 3). If your relationship with God is stale, if you feel that God is distant in your life, if your desire to grow deeper in Him has begun to wane…start pursuing Him again. My promise to you is that He will show up (that is God’s promise to you as well) and when you do your hunger will return and it will grow as long as you continue to pursue!

We closed our weekend with a interesting discussion about the famous marriage verses found in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians found in chapter 5. In its controversy of wives submitting and husbands loving I feel the best marriage advice ever given in the Bible has been lost. Check out our podcast for this Sunday found on our website if you want the rest of this thought. Its a good one – until then…

Stay hungry my friends,

Jonathan

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August 10, 2009 – Family Matters, Part 1

There is no real debate that the family is under attack in our culture. You can see it in many areas – from the divorce rate, to domestic violence, to the questioning of what the definition of marriage really means. When you look at the fact that God, when He created the world, did not create a church but a family first and how the enemy immediately went after the family from the get go shows the importance of family. Strong marriages are the backbone for every family and strong families are the backbone to healthy societies, healthy communities, and healthy churches. That is why this series on Family Matters.

If great marriages make strong families we start there. Like what was already mentioned, God created/ordained marriage from the beginning. When God created man and woman and put them together He infused that ordained union with power (see Matt. 18:19, Duet. 32:30, Eccl. 4:12). There are 4 things that suck the life out of this powerful union called marriage. These things we must be vigilant in to have strong marriages.

1. Keep an understanding for the reverence in marriage – that it is made before God, two people committing to each other for life. The reverence in marriage is never talked about or celebrated in our culture and it needs to be. If marriage is ordained by God then it is holy/sacred and must be treated with reverence.

2. Stay away from selfish ambition and selfish desire – (II Tim. 3) selfish people make horrible friends and they make worse life partners. Marriage isn’t a 50/50 relationship it is 2 people giving 100% of themselves to each other 100% of the time.

3. Keep out unforgiveness and bitterness – (Heb. 12:14) The root of bitterness is destructive to anyone’s life and it effects everyone around you when you have it. Bitterness is especially devastating to a strong marriage. Hurts from past relationships, previous marriages or what was on display in the relationship of your parents carried over in bitterness will suck the life right out of your marriage and you will pass that bitterness onto your mate and your children so you must deal with it.

And then finally, 4. Wrong associations and relationships – bad company corrupts. If we tell that to our teenagers why wouldn’t it apply to us as married adults. There is so much to say here but be aware that the Bible says to leave your mother and father and cleave to your wife. A marriage relationship is between 2 people and God – there is not room for anyone else (buddies, girlfriends, in-laws or parents). Keep them out of the intimacy of your marriage or it will undermine its potency and what God created it to be.

Family Matters and it starts with strong marriages.

Can’t wait for next week,

Jonathan

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August 3, 2009 – Prayer, Part 4

Finally, after a month of talking about prayer we get to the Lord’s Prayer to look at it. Not as a prayer we are supposed to memorize and receipt over and over again because remember what Jesus says right before this in Matt. 6 don’t babble over and over the same words thinking that is going to get God’s attention – he was saying think about what you are saying. It’s a dialog a conversation remember!

The outline Jesus gives us makes sure of 2 things first before we get to our list of needs and wants. First, we focus on how big of a God we really are talking to and that He invites us into this dialog with Him by allowing us to call Him Father. And second, we make sure that our will is aligned with His will, His plans, His desires for us. Both gets our perspective right first when it comes to prayer. We usually jump right to the third part when we pray – our list of needs and wants, but remember what Jesus said right before the Lord’s prayer in Matt. 6:7 – our Father in Heaven already knows what we need of Him even before we ask it so don’t spend too much time on your list. Rather focus on how big He is – make sure your will is aligned with His and then your list will be what it needs to be and in the proper perspective.

The perspective Jesus teaches us to have when it comes to our list is, “God I am totally dependent upon you for what I truly need for the day, I am dependent upon you for my salvation, and I am dependent upon you for my protection.” That is what Jesus was saying in the last part of the Lord’s Prayer.

Finally, in this series, we talked about persistence in prayer. That God is not bothered by our persistence in prayer and you know what, sometimes He’s even moved by it. Your persistence in prayer on an important matter shows God that you know it can only be done by His might. By continuing to ask, seek and knock you are saying you are dependent upon Him and you are submitted to His will on the matter. Luke 11:9 says this. Persistent prayer sometimes He’ll move answer because of it, and sometimes He’ll move us but He will always do something.

Don’t stop praying,

Jonathan

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